Avoiding Black Widows

Black widows are death to a man’s life. I’m not speaking of the black widow spider. I’m speaking about the black widow type of woman. The woman who lives to destroy a man’s accomplishments. She goes against everything he is trying to build. Avoid these women gentlemen. They’re out there.

When you first meet a women, and she’s talking about herself sometimes she will give you clues about what time of woman she is. LISTEN to her and BELIEVE  IT. This is probably the most honest thing she will ever tell you.

My ex -wife told me who she was (red flag 1) and I was too young and inexperienced to pay attention. She told me many times that she came from a family of black widows. I thought challenge accepted. I was a dumb ass as a kid. I would always go after the damaged women and the challenges.

I’m too old for that crap now. I used to have the patience of a saint with women because I came from a family of good women. I thought naively and I soon learned my lesson. I spent 15 years with this woman until I had enough.

You see she already had two kids. (Red Flag 2).  Some time passed and I find out she’s pregnant. I know the baby was mine because she wasn’t a slut and did have good qualities. I was a dumb ass but I wasn’t completely stupid. So we move in together and that’s when I saw the first part of the screw ball in her.

I figured , o.k. women can be difficult, and she’s pregnant, no big deal. I’ll handle it. Women are a handful as it is and I knew this going in. Now , dating a single mom is even more than a handful. There are things you don’t see right off the bat. Things you will soon discover.

At first you are a father figure and the mom doesn’t mind you helping pay for things. It’s when you become a disciplinarian that she begins to have issues with. I’m not an abusive guy , never laid a hand on her kids. Never said abusive things to them. I treated them like they were my own.

I did however have expectations of her kids cleaning up after themselves and doing regular chores, turning the lights off when the exited a room. I expected her kids to not stand there with the refrigerator door open for 20 minutes to decide what they wanted to eat. Mom cleaned up after them and refused to train them.

I was called controlling and mean by mom. (When a woman uses the word controlling and your are not controlling, it’s time to eject boys.) I wasn’t controlling I was raised and trained. There’s a difference. The fun continued and I stayed because of my own kid who would be born soon. Bad judgment there fellas.

We would go around this mulberry bush a millions times more. I soon found out that this wasn’t me and her against the world , it was her and her kids against me. O.k. then , game on , I’m gonna beat her at her own game. I did everything to outsmart her. I installed light timers. I stopped buying so much food.  She told me, you’re not their father , you’re not their disciplinarian, you’re their friend.

I thought to myself o.k. I’m not their father, and she was right. It was a relief, I could stop paying for dumb shit. Birthdays, don’t have to buy gifts anymore. I was elated. I only have my daughter to pay for and I’m gonna do it right with this extra money now.

She advanced her attack and cut me off from sex, let her kids jack up my furniture and lent out my tools, that were never to be seen again. I worked incredible hard for my money back then, and wanted a nice place we could all enjoy. I bought nice dishes and Tupperware type stuff for our left overs. Little by little these things were disappearing at an alarming rate.

Sometimes within the same month of purchase. I was livid. She wasn’t going to beat me. I’m 10,000 times more stubborn than her. I stayed for my kid. That was a bad idea. I was stressed out to the point I could barely walk, I had a boss who was always flexing his muscle at work (I’m going write an ebook about it “How to Train Your Boss”).

My truck had broken down and I had at the mechanic’s shop. So I had to ride the Loser Crusier-The city bus. It was a 2 hour ordeal  transferring from a westbound bus to a northbound bus and then another 2 hours to get home. One night a drunk started some crap on the bus which made my miss my other bus. I was pissed because it was the last bus of the day.

I had to walk from there 6 miles. By the time I got home, I was exhausted. My feet hurt and I was famished. The wife said there was a pizza in the oven and I said o.k. I grab some pizza and sat down to eat. She lit right into me. She said ,”this neighbor at the end of the street had a car you can borrow, go down there and ask her if you can use it.” I said,”As soon as I’m done eating, I will.”

That’s when she really went off, I don’t remember a word she said after that. I just felt nothing anymore. Furious yes. She was was screaming something and I knew right then , I didn’t care for her anymore. She was done. I was done. There was anything worth fighting over anymore.

I had enough of the bullshit. My health was bad because of the stress. I moved out. She moved in homeless couple for Christmas weekend. 20 days later they are still living there. I told me daughter grab your stuff , you’re going with me. What the hell was her mom thinking?

I didn’t know these homeless people and what they were capable of. They damn sure are not going to molest my kid. We were out , back to my place where my daughter could be safe. Mom got the message and kicked the homeless couple out.

By this time I was numb inside, and I was numb for about 4 years after that. I started taking care of me.  I went to bars and got drunk a lot. My buddy from work was a great support and my room mate. He was going through a hard time with a useless woman too.

There is 15 years worth of stuff like this that went on but I’ll spare you all that. The lesson is LISTEN to a woman when she tells you who she is. I ended up winning but war, but at what cost, it was a senseless. She wanted me back, well of course she did, I’m a winner. But I was done.

Watch out for the black widows fellas.

 

 

 

 

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